God - I wish sometimes I could just write EVERYthing here.
Everything without restriction. Every little detail and content that I feel needs sharing - or rather that I want to get out of my head. For once in my life I wanna put it ALL out there - without having to choose my words carefully, without having to hold back in order to not offend people or over share.
But I can't. Cannot. Ever.
Because it's private. Because it's offensive. Because it's not accepted.
So I am sitting here, wondering what the hell to do with myself and my feelings, without understanding what the hell is going on, being unable to put it out there.
I wonder who I am trying to protect by not speaking my mind. The mostly anonymous audience? The few that are not anonymous? Myself?
I don't know. Not even in my therapy I can really talk about what is going on, what is confusing me - I am too ashamed, despite knowing there's nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't know.
Why not write it? Most of us don't know you in real life and we just want to support you....
ReplyDeleteWrite it down, we don't know you. If you want, you can always just save it and have it as a draft, or maybe mark it as private and no one can see it but you, either way, get it out...
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I haven´t recognized all the things inside me that stir up anxious and make me binge. Sometimes I feel there´s stuff I need to address but I can´t exactly point out what it is that´s bothering me.
ReplyDelete