too much life...

I have abandoned blogging. I actually have been living my life recently... maybe even a little too much. But I feel like I need to catch up on all the things that my weight has stopped me from until now.

But along the way, I am slightly falling back into old habits - well, not as bad as before. Still going to the gym, but not as much as before. Still eating more reasonable than in my worst times... but things have gotten out of controle more than once.

I changed jobs, and although I knew I HAD to move on, the new job SUCKS!! I am not happy there and I miss my old colleagues a great deal.

Moreover I have been so busy, and I don't even remember with what really, but there's always a party,  something I need to do, someone I need to meet, someone I need to phone, someone I need to help (moving furniture from one end of the city to the other, with PUBLIC TRANSPORT for example...

I've had some encounters with men - for the first time in a hundred years and it turns out I only fall for the ones in relationships. Still trying to figure out why exactly that is, but I have a fair idea - as long as they are committed, and don't commit to me in the end, it's not my "fault". Then it's not because of me - they are not rejecting me per se, but it's due to the situation. So I guess, I am just not quite ready to have an actual relationship and let someone that close.

These days I am even scared to go on the scale - will face that fear one of these days, but I know I have gained some weight.

I guess the lack of blogging and reading blogs also added up to not moving on... so I guess I need to pick that up again for support and inspiration...