nervousness

I have been pushing so hard lately.

So many things are happening and seem to culminate today - I have a job-interview for a supervisor position, which is actually an entry-level management position... me, a manager. Wow.

I am so nervous. I feel rather like crying than be strong and confident. And there's a lot of competition - and most of the people I am competing with are close colleagues, even friends. I really don't like that much.

Then - if that was not enough for today, tonight is the birthdayparty of my personal trainer (who I have a big crush on) in a very fancy club.

Why do these 2 events have to fall on the same date? My nerves are shattered already. I wanna go back to bed and hide - let the world out there pass me by...

But I guess I'll have to keep pushing, keep fighting, just do it, get through it and over it...

Let me try it this way, look at the bright side:

-I have a job interview for a management position
-I lost 50 pounds in the last year
-I am strong and I know how job interviews are, I am well prepared and know what to say
-I have my outfit ready for both occasions today and surprisingly it was not such a big drama as it would have been a year ago
-I look good in them and feel (mostly) comfortable
-(I would not have had the kind of day I am having today a year ago)
-I know I can do it and I have received lots of support and encouragement

I still wanna cry. And not go. I just don't feel all that strong these days...