I wanna gain my weight back. I wanna sit on my couch all day being left alone. I wanna sit at home and complain about how the world is treating me poorly. I wanna bitch about my job and be miserable all the time because I still have to go there. I wanna complain, be left alone, be fat, be undesirable, be misunderstood and depressed. I wanna watch soaps and stupid shows all day so I can participate in someone else's fictional life - and eat tons of pizza and chocolate doing so - just stuffing doing on all the bad feelings instead of dealing with them...
Why do I want that?
Because it's easy. It's easy to blame the world for your miserable life. It's easy to watch TV and eat. It's easy when nobody expects anything from you because you're lazy, fat and depressed.
It's easy.
Compared to all the pushing, struggling, fighting, kicking, cross-training, personal-training, not-eating, motivating, thinking and analyzing I've been doing for the last year - it seems easy.
I want a little bit of easy... please...
Great post Jules (*_*)
ReplyDeleteI know the easy(er) will come when: I go clothes shopping; shoe shopping; want to blend into the crowd; I'm no longer afraid to join in on activities that only slim and fit people do; people no longer stare at me when eating *anything* in public; I no longer have to ask for a seat belt extender on flights; I no longer feel embarrassed having my underwear hanging on the washing line.
I think I could go on for hours. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me (*_*)