I spent hours last night finding something on the internet about my weightloss-related feelings these days. It seems there is just one single article in the whole wide world related to this aspect of losing weight - WHY WEIGHTLOSS SUCKS!
''Would losing weight make you feel vulnerable? Think about it. What would happen if you shed the extra weight you carry and got down to a healthy weight? Would you really be able to find true happiness? The answer is probably not...unless you change the way you think.''
The fact of the matter is, these days I can post some great loss, but all I feel is insecurity and being unprotected. Instead of feeling great about the loss I am left with emotions of being exposed and really insecure. Reading the article it started to make more sense to me: ''shedding the extra weight is like removing your protective armor. The fat suit you wear is a good blocker between you and the world around you.'' And this armor is what I am lacking.
This is what struck me the most: ''shedding the extra weight is like removing your protective armor. The fat suit you wear is a good blocker between you and the world around you.''
Recently I have noticed how people started behaving differently towards me. Guys smile at me, yesterday I passed by a lesbian bar when I noticed a girl checking me out. It should make me proud - all it does is make me want to run away...
There is a guy from work who has shown interest in me, touching my arm in conversations and stuff - while having after work drinks on Friday one of those really *cool* guys came up to me, introducing me to a friend - I never even expected him to notice me, let alone TALK TO ME. But he did - and all I wanted right then was being the fat girl in the corner that nobody talks to!!
Is anybody ou there experiencing the same? Am I crazy?
I cannot handle people being nice to me. I am a professional in handling rejection - but kindness and approach is just not in my repertoire.
''It's no wonder some people feel vulnerable after they lose a considerable amount of weight. The wall that used to offer them support is suddenly missing. It feels like you're lost your armor, you have nothing left to hide behind, you are exposed and you suddenly have to confront situations you have avoided. Using weight as your crutch, your protection and your security is not an option once you reach a healthy weight. The comfort level is no longer there. What's left to rely on after losing weight?''
Seriously, can anybody out there relate to this? I need help!
I absolutely understand where you are coming form. I would like to lose the weight for health reasons but the reality is that the invisibility from being obese is a nice safe place for me to hide in. I've been there before, it's usually the day I feel naked in public that i begin to gain back all of the hard lost weight. This time around I am coming at it from a different approach. Mindful of my comfortable invisibility I am practicing for full view. I practice speaking my mind, telling people what I am thinking (in your case maybe "I'm not looking to date right now.") and mostly just kind of acting like the people that don't need to fade into the background. It's kind of scary, but every time I do manage to open my mouth I feel empowered instead of vulnerable. Try it! Remember that losing weight is about your physical health first and foremost. You've done a great job, don't let your fears hold you back from enjoying your life now.
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Ali