As mention before - I hate challenges. And the fact that I am pressuring me with this one has not (yet) done me any good. Instead I feel bad, ate bad and did not go to the gym since Tuesday.
I packed my gym-stuff and carried it all over town today - but then I extended the shopping trip until the gym was closed.
I purchased some body-shaping underwear because my friend suggested that - but that will be taken back to the shop tomorrow - I feel like a sausage - and a cheater.
Moreover - and that's what's really getting to me - is that I am just starting with my journey. I lost about 35 lbs so far - that is only the b e g i n n i n g. . .
I hate that fact. Why can I not lose 20 pounds a week, or so. It's taking too long. I know that losing slowly is healthier, makes it more likely to keep it off and I didn't get all that big in a week and so on and so forth - but it SUCKS!
I wanna buy cute clothes, I wanna lose weight faster, I wanna be thin NOW - grrr.. where the hell am I supposed to get all the strength from to keep going?
I want pasta, and pizza and chocolate - NOW! But nooooo I don't eat carbs for dinner anymore. I want coke and chips and fries and more chocolate... but nooooo I have to remind myself all the time that that it would not do me any good - it's easy on some days, but right now going back to eating all the frustration away seems so much easier.
Why must it be so hard? Why do I feel so guilty for eating badly this week? When will this get easier?
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