What is it?

My digestive system has been weird all weekend. Nice weekend I can tell you. Last night I tried making myself feel better with what I usually do (and don't wanna do anymore) because I ran out of options. I ate chocolate mousse. Not very smart of me...

I feel like the whole lump of chocolate is still in my stomach and is not being digested at all. Although I have gotten a little better physically than I was 2 days ago, I am stil in such a shitty mood.

Ususally I find out what is bugging me after a while. I mean on a deeper level, a sub- or unconcious level. But I cannot seem to figure it out this time.

Is it my mum starting to date again, after being married for 30 years? (I really want her to, and enjoy her life finally - but still it feels weird to me...)

Is it my roomate going through a rough break-up and taking me down with her?

Is it my new life and not having adjusted to it after (only?) 6 weeks?

Is it the stressful job, that I keep thinking about too much, even outside working hours?

Is it the lack of friends here, in my new environment? I feel like I should have made friends by now?

Am I just homesick?

I feel like crying, but I am not able to. The pain just doesn't come out. It's being stuffed down by a huge lump of chocolate mousse. And as I don't even know what to cry about...

Too many questions, not enough answers. And no clue what do to about it. Cannot eat, cannot really go out because I called in sick this morning. Cannot stay home all day either without freaking out. Cannot cry. Cannot laugh either. Cannot connect to my feelings at all.

What should I do?

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